Miss Etiquette

Anniversary Gifts.

2008-04-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

My husband, Brad, and I are coming up on our first wedding anniversary! I cannot believe it has almost been a year! I have thoroughly enjoyed this first year with my sweet husband, and I cannot wait for the years to come.

Back to the point of this post, I was thinking about my upcoming anniversary, and I was trying to decide what to get for Brad. I thought it would be helpful if I posted traditional anniversary gifts by year for everyone to see. Now this is just a guideline for y'all, but personally, I think it would be really nice to stick with these guidelines.

So, for our first anniversary, the gift is paper. Brad has a ton of stationary already, and what man really wants stationary? Ha! I was thinking along the lines of paper tickets, or something that appeals more to his masculine side. Any ideas???? What did you get for your spouse on the first anniversary? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Traditional Anniversary Gifts by Year
First: Paper
Second: Cotton
Third: Leather
Fourth: Fruit or Flowers
Fifth: Wood
Sixth: Candy or Iron
Seventh: Wool or Copper
Eight Bronze or Pottery
Ninth: Pottery
Tenth: Tin
Eleventh: Steel
Twelfth: Silk or Linen
Thirteenth: Lace
Fourteenth: Ivory
Fifteenth: Crystal
Twentieth: China
Twenty-Fifth: Silver
Thirtieth: Pearls
Thirty-Fifth: Coral
Fortieth: Ruby
Forty-Fifth: Sapphire
Fiftieth: Gold
Fifty-Fifth: Emerald
Sixtieth: Diamond

Blessings to you!

Phone etiquette.

2008-04-08T13:54:00.000-07:00

If you want to learn more about phone etiquette, read this article from my hometown newspaper - it has a lot of great tips!

Text messaging etiquette.

2008-04-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, today we are going to talk about text messaging etiquette.

Who would have ever thought one would need text messaging etiquette? In today's society, where many young people communicate primarily through text messages, it becomes an issue that warrants a discussion. Here are some general guidelines regarding text messaging:
1. Text messaging is not a formal form of conversation; therefore, do not use text message for formal invitations/matters - text messaging is casual and should be used for casual matters.
2. Do not text message while you are driving - it's just not safe. Many states are actually making it illegal to text message while you are driving.
3. Do not compose text messages while you are having a face-to-face conversation with someone - I'm sure it can wait until your conversation is finished.
4. If it is an important matter, make a phone call. If you can't get through, I'm sure there is a reason - give the person time to contact you. Do not get upset if someone does not return your message(s).
5. This is my favorite - there are certain places and times that you should not answer a text message (or phone call) - I have seen this happen a lot more with the influx of the Blackberry - try to remember to turn your phone off during dinner, movies, important meetings, etc. - whatever happened to having dinner without interruption?

According to The Feature, "Text messaging is one of the simplest and most useful means of mobile communication. No one can doubt the popularity of text messaging and short messaging service (SMS) in particular - more than 50 billion SMS messages were sent across the world's GSM networks in the first quarter of 2001, a fivefold increase over the previous year - and there's no slowdown in sight."

I hope that you will remember this common-courtesy guidelines next time you are typing away on your phone! Have a wonderful etiquette-filled day!

Mind your manners.

2008-04-01T13:39:00.000-07:00

"Good manners can replace morals. It may be years before anyone knows if what you are doing is right. But if what you are doing is nice, it will be immediately evident." ~P.J. O'Rourke

From Emily Post...

2008-03-31T13:12:00.000-07:00

I'm addicted to the Emily Post website, and I wanted to share a quick etiquette tip for you. A lot of times, people get confused on invitation timing, and it is the most-often asked question I get asked when people are planning for a party - I thought this was a great resource for the future.

From the Emily Post website:
Whether you’re mailing invitations or inviting guests by phone, timing is key. Send an invitation too late and the guest may already be booked; send it too early and it might be misplaced or forgotten. The following guidelines aren’t set in stone, but will give you an idea of when to mail various types of invitations.
The Event When to Invite
Anniversary party - 3 to 6 weeks
Bar or Bat Mitzvah - 1 month
Bon Voyage party - last minute to 3 weeks
Casual party - Same day to 2 weeks
Charity Ball - 6 weeks to 3 months
Christmas party - 1 month
Cocktail party - 1 to 4 weeks
Debutante Ball - 6 weeks to 3 months
Formal dinner - 3 to 6 weeks
Graduation party - 3 weeks
Housewarming party - A few days to 3 weeks
Informal dinner - A few days to 3 weeks
Lunch or Tea - A few days to 2 weeks
Thanksgiving dinner - 2 weeks to 2 months

Have a wonderful, etiquette-filled day!

Bridal Gowns.

2008-03-27T08:45:00.000-07:00

*UPDATE to dress situation: I hope y'all know that I would never make my dear sweet friend (the bride) feel bad about picking her dress - I realize it may have come out that way. It is a beautiful dress, and she looks amazing in it! The bride is leaning more towards a late afternoon/evening ceremony since everything she likes fits with that time frame (they are also wanting to have a dinner buffet - kind of hard to do @ one o'clock in the afternoon). Thanks for the advice - I kept my sweet little mouth shut :)

I really do not mean for all my etiquette posts to revolve around weddings, but since I'm assisting in planning a wedding, it's all I can really think about!

The bride I am helping (along with my mother) knew for a few months that her engagement was coming in the future. So, what did she do to pass the time? Look at bridal magazines and start dreaming about her wedding! Wouldn't we all?

Well, the bride had seen an advertisement for a wedding gown in one of her magazines, and she was IN LOVE. So, after she got engaged, she went to try on that dress, and that was that. She did not try on another dress, or even look at another dress. She bought the first and only dress she tried on. I could not even think about doing that.

The dress is so lovely, but the etiquette side of me always comes out in one way or another.

The bride wants to have an early afternoon ceremony and reception. My problem? The dress is a full gown, complete with sequins and sparkles.

Now, I realize it's 2008, but I'm old-fashioned. A gown like that needs an evening ceremony and reception.

So, am I too old-fashioned? Does anyone else agree with me?

The part that really bothers me is the fact that the shop where she purchased the gown said that it did not matter about the dress matching the time of day. That rubbed me the wrong way!

Should I try to persuade the bride to move the time, or should I just keep my mouth shut?

Did you follow etiquette and pick a dress that matched your ceremony time?

Engaged!

2008-03-10T13:34:00.000-07:00

My good friend, Lindsay, got engaged this past weekend in California! I'm so excited about her upcoming nuptials, as my mother and I will be assisting with a lot of the planning for the wedding! I'm so happy for Lindsay and Matt, and I know they will have a beautiful future together!

Speaking of engagements, it is a pet peeve of mine (being obsessed with etiquette and all), when someone says "Congratulations!" to a bride. Old etiquette will tell you that you tell the bride "Best wishes," and you extend a "Congratulations" to the groom (most commonly done in a receiving line at a wedding). I know it may seem silly and trivial, but whenever a friend gets engaged, I always send her my best wishes!

Saying congratulations to a bride implies that she has won something - her groom. The groom is to be congratulated for getting the lady to accept his marriage proposal. To avoid controversy, many people just extend their best wishes to the bride and the groom!

Just a little etiquette to brighten your day!

Wedding gifts - should I buy off the registry?

2008-03-06T13:25:00.000-08:00

To buy or not to buy off the registry?

This is a topic I have heard a lot of people talking about lately - maybe it's because I have six weddings to go to between now and November!

I'll give you my take on this topic - being a newlywed, it was extremely frustrating and time-consuming putting together our registry. We had family members in other states, so we had to be mindful of them and try to register at places near their homes (although everything can be purchased online now). You also want to make sure that you register for a wide variety of prices to accomodate everyone's needs. We literally registered for everything - measuring spoons, papertowl holders, tongs, towels, cookbooks, spice racks, E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! Brides and grooms spend many hours working on getting the registry perfect, so oftentimes they get upset if someone does not buy off the registry.

I personally, did not mind it. Some of the best gifts I got did not come off a registry. A note of caution - most of the people who did not buy gifts for me off my registry knew me extremely well, and they had full confidence that I would love their gift. For instance, one of my sorority sisters and close friends gave me an antique Fostoria sugar and creamer set. It was absolutely beautiful, and it is one of my most treasured gifts.

When I purchase a wedding gift or baby gift for someone, I try to add my own little extra "something" to it. I may buy a couple of their baking sheets off the registry, but I'll also buy cute oven mitts to match their personality. I'll wrap them up in a cello bag with lots of ribbons and tie on the oven mitts - it's all about presentation, y'all! If you buy a coffee maker or coffee grinder, toss in some gourmet coffee and cute coffee mugs! If you buy a set of sheets or towels, why not throw in some nice linen spray? Adding a cookbook to any gift is well appreciated from a new bride, too! I always give new mommies a Mom Agenda (they are AWESOME!), but I will add some diapers, wipes or a sweet blanket to the gift.

It's so difficult dealing with returns and exchanges, and many couples get so frustrated - so save them a little of their patience and get something they really want!

I hope this helps some of you who may be purchasing a few (or a few dozen) gifts this year!

Planning a shower.

2008-03-04T12:47:00.000-08:00

Because SPRING is upon us, and we all know what springtime brings....WEDDINGS! I have three very dear friends getting married this year, and I am helping host showers for all three of them. I know a lot of you may also be planning bridal showers or baby showers, and I hope that these tips will help you along the way.

Before I begin planning for a shower, I always meet with the bride-to-be (or mommy-to-be) to find out what her hopes for the shower are - does she want a small and intimate party, or does she want a party-like atmosphere with lots of guests? Based on her expectations, I am able to decide the "theme" of the shower. At this initial meeting, I will discuss the number of guests and her guest list - this gives me a good idea of costs. If it looks like it is going to be more expensive, I will ask other ladies to host with me. After I know the approximate number, I ask the honoree to send me a guest list - with addresses. I oftentimes give her a deadline of a week or so; otherwise, it will not get done. It is very important for her to give you the addresses - that will save you lots of time when it comes time to address invitations.

Next, I will go and pick out invitations. Because I work at a stationery store, I am an invitation snob. I will pick the invitation dependent on the theme - I may go with something floral and very classy, or I might choose something cute and spunky. It's a matter of personal taste and what you think the bride will like. When I have the invitations printed, I always bring all the details of the shower (who it is for, where it is, what time, what type of shower - bridal tea, around the clock shower, etc., where she is registered, hosts or hostesses, and r.s.v.p. or regrets information) - this saves a lot of time, and I am prepared to answer any questions. Sometimes I research online for cute verses or poems to include on the invitation as well, if it is appropriate. You do not have to have custom printed invitations - sometimes your budget does not allow it. Other suitable options might be a fill-in invitation (where you write in the information) or a handmade invitation. Just be sure you include all the same pertinent information. Here are some examples of invitations. I think it is vital to know numbers when I'm planning a shower, so I always include an r.s.v.p or regrets option (a phone number or email address will suffice) on my invitation - it helps me to know who (and how many) are coming!

Here is an example of a pretty traditional invitation by The Paper Menu:

This adorable invitation by Hick's Paper is what I'm actually using for my sorority little sister's shower in April. I think it's adorable and it will definitely be a huge hit!

(You can find both invitations at The Paper Café)

Once you have the invitations ready, you will want to address and mail them. Make sure that you have everything spelled correctly on the invitation and always include a return address in case you have a bad address. True to etiquette, you will want to mail out invitations between 2-3 weeks ahead of the shower. If you have a lot of out-of-town guests, you may want to send them closer to 3 weeks ahead of the shower. You don't want to send them so early that people forget, but you want to give everyone plenty of time to clear their schedule!

During this time, you will want to be planning for decorations and games, if appropriate. You may want to go all out with decorations, or you may just decorate with a few floral arrangements. Try to make everything tie together - use the same color scheme from the invitation, decorate with the bride's favorite color or flower, or set a few pictures around of the bride and friends. Oftentimes, the food and serving pieces can serve as decoration - use pretty serving pieces, colorful napkins, or arrange the food in a pleasing way.

Games can be fun at some showers - if they fit with the theme. You may not want to play a game at a frilly bridal tea! Because I am newlywed, I played many games at my showers. At one shower, hosted by my husband's cousin, we played a game where I had to answer questions about my husband (she had previously called him for the answers) - for every question I missed, I had to put a piece of bubble gum in my mouth. Well, I missed around 7, so needless to say, my mouth was full of gum! At a shower hosted by some of my sorority sisters, they each wrote something marriage advice on a slip of paper, and they each read them aloud. Some were hilarious and some were so heartfelt. I have each of them in a scrapbook now.

As far as food goes for your shower, it all depends on your number of guests and the type of shower you are hosting. You can do typical "shower food" - petit-fours, cake, nuts, punch, and fruit; or you can go all out and do sandwiches, veggies and dip, cookies, cocktails or champagne, cupcakes, etc. Make sure you have plenty of food and make sure you have someone to refill everything and make it look nice. Oftentimes, I have my mom "on staff" to help out so I can greet guests and make sure everything is running smoothly. At the beginning of the shower, I always thank everyone for coming, and then I will say something sweet about the honoree - try to make everyone feel welcomed! Something we always forget - make sure you have trash bags to keep all of the wrapping paper in and a pen and pad to write down gifts.

On the day of the shower, try not to stress too much - plan everything ahead of time so you are not fretting over little details. Give yourself some time to get ready, greet guests with a smile and enjoy this special day!

If you have any other questions or comments, please email me or leave a comment. I am planning two bridal showers right now for April and a monograms and mimosas shower for May - so I definitely have showers on my mind!

Back to the etiquette!

2008-01-14T14:04:00.000-08:00

I will be trying to make a conscious effort to post more on here for y'all! Future topics I plan to cover are planning the perfect bridal/baby shower, phone etiquette, email etiquette, and how to introduce someone! In between posts, I will also tell y'all about my favorite stationery, invitations, party supplies, books, etc.

Please leave a comment or email me with future topics - this is a learning experience for ALL of us!

Table Manners

2007-12-18T06:51:00.001-08:00

I found THIS article in my hometown's newspaper this morning, The Daily News Journal. It's a pretty basic outline for eating dinner - it also gives some good tips for children!

Enjoy!

Thank you notes.

2007-12-14T12:37:00.000-08:00

Since my husband and I have just moved into our new home, and we just hosted a Merry Open House this past weekend, I have had an abundance of thank you notes to write. But does this gal complain? Oh, no she does not!

I actually fell in love with thank you notes after I got engaged. I had several books on wedding etiquette, and I loved to read about writing thank you notes. So, after graduation from college, I bought a nice set of 100 notes with my monogram to have for graduation and shower gifts. Let me share with you the traditional etiquette rules for thank you notes.

For a female, it is traditional that she use a foldover notecard (see below example). The notecard can be embellished with her monogram, first name, an initial, a simple motif or perhaps a last name.

For a male, it is traditional that he use a flat notecard (see example). His notecard can also be embellished the same as a female notecard - but more masculine. I suggest using a block font instead of a feminine script font.If you would like family stationary, I think a foldover or a flat card is suitable (see below). For instance, I could have "The Warnock Family," a "W," or our married monogram printed, which in my case is "LWB" (the lady's name is first, your last name is in the middle printed bigger, and then the husband's name).

As far as writing the actual note, my only tip is to be nice and sincere! Most people really appreciate a thank you note, so they'll appreciate whatever you write. For example, if I was writing a note to thank my grandmother for a holiday dish towel, this might be what I would write: "Dear granny, Thank you so much for the beautiful Christmas dish towel. That was so nice of you to think of Brad and me during the holiday season! I cannot wait to use it throughout the holiday, and everytime I use it, I will think of your and your kind heart. Thanks again! Love, Lena."

Don't try to sound too formal - just write what you would say if that person was in front of you!

Simple enough! The most important thing to remember about thank you notes is try to send them out in a timely manner. I know this is hard for all of us because we are all so busy, but believe me, a thank you will be much more appreciate a week after a gift was given rather than a YEAR after the gift was given! The hardest thing about thank you notes is actually taking the time to sit down and write them! I suggest keeping the enclosure card with the gift until you have written your thank you so you don't forget who sent what!

If you have any other questions about thank you cards, please leave a comment! Looking forward to my next post...

To hug or not to hug?

2007-11-30T18:50:00.000-08:00

I'm going to go ahead and forewarn y'all...I am by no means an etiquette expert. I grew up in an extremely southern home - we were required to sit down at the table for dinner, keep our elbows off the table, and ALWAYS say "yes/no ma'am." I began to really enjoy learning the art of etiquette when I got engaged. I wanted to make sure I did everything the "right" way - from the invitations to the bridal showers. So, my love for etiquette began! I hope that this becomes a place where you can ask me any questions you have about etiquette, and hopefully I'll be able to answer! Some questions I will not know the answer to, but I'll be sure to do the research! Maybe I'll learn a thing or two!

That being saidI had a question from MEGAN about hugging when you first meet someone. Believe it or not, there is actually an etiquette to hugging. In my opinion, I don't think it's rude to hug someone when you first meet them - let's face it, we're in the south, and people tend to be more friendly! The key to hugging without offending someone is to hug gently. If the other person you are hugging wants a closer hug, they can pull themselves closer to you - thus leaving them in charge of how close they do/do not want to get. (Peter Griffiths) If you feel like too often you are offending people with hugs, a nice handshake always works well, too!

I hope that this helped you out, Megan! Please continue to let me know about topics that interest you! Next topic, THANK YOU NOTES! (a personal favorite of mine!)

All your etiquette questions ANSWERED!

2007-11-30T07:20:00.000-08:00

As my profile states, I yearn for the days of old fashion hospitality. I am a lover of manners, politeness, and etiquette. I believe that we do not have to lower our standards and give in to a rude society. I hope to post about real life situations in our modern world and how we can apply basic etiquette rules. This is going to be a wonderful experience for me - I can't wait to share my love for etiquette with you!

Feel free to leave comments on potential situations you would like to hear about!

Until next time!